Wife Swap Alias Style
by Rishka Derevko
Summary: what happens when the Spyfam is featured on ABC's wife swap.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Alias and none of the characters are mine i just write about them

Wife Swap Alias Style

The Letter

Marshall grudgingly dispensed the mail. He was a genius, a mathematical prodigy and he had been demoted to mail duty. As he walked toward Irina Bristow's office he couldn't help but wonder how Jack had managed to get his wife a job here, after all she was Irina Derevko a.k.a The Man. She had one piece of mail today. It wasn't heavy like some she had received the box wasn't unusually warm or beeping. It was a plain envelope addressed to Mrs. Irina Bristow and Family. As he got closer to her office he could hear her yelling at someone. He hesitantly knocked on her door.

"Come in." she said fury evident in voice.

He opened the door and peeped his head inside. Jack Bristow was sitting on her desk with a look of pure annoyance on his face. Irina stood in front of him with her hands on her hip and a furious expression on her face.

"Um. Mrs. Bris."

"Don't call me that. Right now I'm ashamed to have that last name."

"Irina is it that big of a deal," Jack said through gritted teeth "we can discuss this later, there is no reason to drag Marshall into this."

"Who is dragging anyone into this. Marshall knocked on the door so obviously Marshall has something he needs to give or tell me so shutup and let Marshall speak." she snapped back.

"Now Marshall what do you need." she said turning to him her expression still tense.

"This um letter came for you." he said handing it to her.

"Thank you Marshall." she took it from him only to have it snatched from her hands by Jack.

"What are you doing?" she said fury again evident as she turned toward Jack.

"It says and family." Jack said his eyes twinkling. He was having so much fun getting Irina angry and to think it all started from him asking her to get a suit dry cleaned. She had started yelling talking about how she did so much for him and she never got a thank you. How she put up with his cold attitude and stoic nonchalant personality that he possessed even when with her. She started talking bout how she wondered why she married him it wasn't the first time they had this argument about how neither of them got respect from the other and it always ended the same way with them entangled together breathless but forgiving.

"Jack did you hear me," Irina voice interrupted his wandering thoughts "I said give me the letter."

"Marshall you can go now." he said sliding off the desk and wrapping his arm around Irina's waist, he felt her tense up but she wasn't going to hurt him in front of Marshall.

"Sir are you sure." Marshall asked he wasn't sure if he should get Sydney or Nadia to come and hold the peace.

"Yeah," Jack replied kissing her gently on the lips "I'm sure, just a little misunderstanding."

"Ok." Marshall left in search of one of Bristow's daughters.

As soon as Marshall closed the door Irina struck Jack so hard with the back of her hand that he almost fell.

"Ah! Irina come on what was that for?" Jack asked holding his cheek.

"For kissing me and playing with me like I'm a toy. I'm sick of it Jack. I'm just sick of it." she said walking away from him tears brimming in her eyes.

Jack was starting to get concerned Irina didn't seem to be letting this one go.

"Irina please. I'm sorry. I love you. Sweetheart please don't be like this." he said walking up behind her hugging her. He softly kissed her neck breathing in her scent.

"Irina please."

"Jack I'm just tired. I'm tired of feeling like my husband is gone and nothing is left but this shell of a man. This guy that doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Everything changed Jack after you slept with my sister."

Jack froze how dare she bring that up they were past that. That was it if she wanted war she got it. He turned her to look at him.

"Coming from someone who pretended to be someone else for ten years and played me like a fool."

"Oh so you're bringing that up again."

"Yeah I am you brought up Katya."

"I don't feel like arguing with you. Just get out."

"Fine just don't blame Katya I mean look at who she had to look up to a trained KGB whore." this time he saw her hand movement and caught it just in time. He spun her around and pinned her arm behind her back.

"Don't hit me again." He said teeth gritted his face red in fury. He released his grip on her arm.

"You jerk. Get out of my office. NOW! Get out! Just get out before I do more than hit you."

Jack turned and walked past her his eyes bright with rage.

"We will discuss this later." He said walking out of her office slamming the door.

She collapsed on the floor letting the tears flow freely. Why did she let him get to her so much? Why did she let him anger her to the point of violence. All she wanted was to see his passionate side again, the guy who would plan a romantic meal for her on her birthday, who would run bubble baths and hold her in his arms as they sat in the tub all the while whispering sweet nothings in her ear. But that Jack was gone now. Now he was nothing more than your typical workaholic oblivious to his wife's wants or needs. Their kisses had become less passionate and the spark that had been there since the day they met was beginning to dim. All he thought of her was a maid and someone to get him off on occasion.

Irina wiped the tears from her eyes and picked up the letter Jack had dropped. She walked over to her desk and sat down dropping the letter on her desk. As she dropped it the edge touched her mouse making her wallpaper pop up. She sighed, there on the screen was her and Jack she was wearing a white bikini and Jack was shirtless wearing black swim trunks eyes bright with laughter. His arms were wrapped around her possessively and he was smiling from ear to ear. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she was wearing an equally happy expression. She remembered that day well they had went on a family vacation to Cabo San Lucas and it was their first day after arrival. It had felt like they were kids again Jack was his light hearted self that day and had surprised her with a romantic dinner that night.

Irina snapped back to reality and reached for the letter. She froze. The letter read:

Dear Irina Bristow & Family,

One of your family friends have expressed their desire to see your family participate in Wife Swap. It has come to their attention that you do not feel appreciated by your husband. That you feel the spark is gone from your relationship. As they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

If you accept our offer please contact us at (852) 756-8293.

Sincerely,

Vincent Smith

Executive Director


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the wait my readers. Some things came up. Once again I don't own Alias.

Chapter 2:The Other Woman

A million miles away on the other side of the U.S a blond worked tirelessly over the stove. Her husband would be home in a few moments and was expecting dinner. Her name Leslie Maynor. She was the typical trophy wife a good cook, gorgeous, the perfect six foot one figure. Her husband was a politician, the mayor of their town. They had two kids, Kevin was 7 and Kayle she was 16. They all treated her like a queen, her husband loved her unconditionally and her children were the ideal pair. But she had a secret that even her husband didn't know about, she wanted adventure, a change of pace. Little did she know she would soon get her chance. She heard her husband pull up and ran to meet him at the door.

"Darling, welcome home." she said throwing her arms around him.

"Hey there, baby." he said kissing her. Preston Maynor loved his wife more than life itself.

"Dad!" Kayle and Kevin screamed running to hug their dad.

They share a really cheesy family moment that I can't write about without gagging.

They walk back to the kitchen and sit down for dinner. Leslie walks over to the stove and pulls out the garlic bread. She stops and finally notices the letter on the counter. She picks it up and begins to read.

Dear Leslie Maynor and family,

One of your family friends have expressed their desire to see your family participate in Wife Swap. They said you are the ideal family and are seeking more adventure in your life. If its adventure you want we can provide the ultimate challenge.

If you accept our offer please contact us at (852) 756-8293.

Sincerely,

Vincent Smith

Executive Director


	3. Chapter 3

Don't own them, never have never will

Chapter 3: Packing bags

Irina stood in their walk in closet gathering her clothes. She had just told Jack about the letter and was packing her bags. Her flight was the next morning.

"Irina you can't be serious."

"Yeah I am. This is exactly what we need a break from each other before someone gets killed."

"That wouldn't happen."

"It happened once or have you forgotten." she said turning to face him pain obvious in her eyes.

"Irina I thought we were over that."

"No you were over that. I will never understand how you could kiss another woman and think it was me. How you couldn't tell the difference between me and a clone."

"Irina this is Project Helix were talking about. She was very convincing." He teased trying to lighten her mood.

"Oh really. Was she as good a kisser too."

"It's been to long I don't remember what you kiss like." he could tell she was relaxing.

Irina thought to herself if this is our last night together for two weeks I might as well make the best of it.

"Let me remind you." she said striding over to him swinging her hips. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought his lips down to hers. She kissed him hard savoring his taste his smell, the feel of his lips against her own. She pushed him away reluctantly.

"Well." she asked trying to act nonchalant.

"I don't know how I got the two mixed up. I'm sorry Irina. For the millionth time I'm apologizing." Jack said getting down on his knees and running his hands up her waist while gently kissing her stomach.

"We are still doing Wife Swap." Irina said pulling his head back to look at her.

"I know but at least I can make sure you remember how much I love you."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Irina said smiling as Jack began kissing her again.

He rose up off the ground and in one swift motion unbuttoned Irina's shirt and started kissing the point between her neck and shoulder.

"Like this." with that he picked her up and walked out of the closet. All thoughts of packing were erased from her mind as he brought his lips down to hers again.


	4. Chapter 4

Don't own them, blah, blah, you know what I mean

Chapter 4: Welcome to your new home Irina

Irina walked into the average sized house of Leslie Maynor and visibly cringed at the interior. The walls were covered from ceiling to floor with family photos. The photos weren't the problem it was the people in the photos. All of them had the whole Brady Bunch look going on. The women were wearing matching pink pastel dresses with ribbons in their hair. They were seated while the men wearing matching green argyle sweaters stood behind them with forced smiles on their faces.

"What have I done?" Irina mumbled.

She sat her bag on the sofa and began to feel nauseated. There draped across the back of the sofa was an unfinished scarf the crochet needles still attached.

"She does needlework, wears ribbons, and takes cheesy family photos. It's like she's stuck in the 50's or something." Irina thought.

Irina walked into the kitchen and saw Leslie's instructions on the table. It read:

Dear Mrs. Bristow,

I find it dandy….

With that Irina ran out of the house screaming. She hotwired the neighbors minivan and drove to the nearest bar. After drinking nearly 3 bottles of Absolut vodka and swindling the local chumps out of two grand she returned to the house slightly tipsy but ready to face anything. When she walked into the room she was greeted by a high pitched squeal. Kayle Maynor came running toward her at full speed. Her reaction was slowed but she stepped out of the way just in time sending the sixteen year old sprawling. She grabbed the girl's arm and caught her before she fell.

"Rule number one never run at me like that." Irina said.

"Ye, Yes mam." Kayle stammered she was afraid of this woman.

"Hello. You must be Irina." Preston said walking toward her.

She extended her hand in greeting but he pulled her into his arms instead. She hugged him back. Then she smelled something familiar. He used the same aftershave as Jack. She nearly sighed she sort of missed him.

"Nice to meet you Preston." she said giving him her most dazzling smile. It had its intended affect he swallowed heavily.

"Um, I see you have met Kayle, sorry she startled you."

"That's ok, don't you have a son."

"Yes. Kevin could you come down here."

Kevin Maynor wasn't what Irina had expected he walked down the steps with a bored look on his face that sort of reminded her of Jack at briefings. "Irina quit thinking about Jack." she thought to herself. She kneeled down so she was eye level with Kevin.

" Hi. I'm Irina. It's nice to meet you."

"You smell like alcohol."

"Kevin. Don't be rude." Preston corrected.

"I'm terribly sorry Mrs. Bristow."

"Please call me Irina."

"Ok. Irina. Kayle will you finish helping Kevin with his homework."

"Okey Dokey Daddy-O" Kayle said skipping up the stairs.

It took all of Irina's will power not to vomit. Once the kids left he turned to her.

"Um, Irina I don't mean to be rude but have you been drinking."

"Yes a little."

"Well, we are kind of a dry household. I'm sure my wife put that in the manual."

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to read it." Preston's never changing facial expression was starting to annoy her.

"Well now that that settled I'll show you to the guest room."

With that Preston picked up her bags and walked upstairs. Irina followed him wearily the overwhelming happiness was starting to wear her down.

Preston opened the door and she walked into a room decorated in a hideous yellow. It was like the sun had puked on the walls.

"Leslie usually cooks dinner but I'll let it slide for tonight since you've had a long day."

"Thanks. I'll cook breakfast." Irina said trying to be kind.

"That would be just dandy." He said cheerfully "We'll give you a call when dinner's ready."

"Thank you."

Preston walked out of the room. Irina walked over to her duffle bag and pulled out the titanium case she stored there. From it she pulled out and assembled her nine millimeter. Then she put it in the middle bedside drawer and sat down on the bed. She ran one hand through her hair and stretched out on the bed. She was sound asleep in a matter of seconds.

About thirty minutes later she heard a noise at her door. She reached over opening the middle drawer and disengaged the safety on her gun. She rolled over onto her stomach slipping the gun underneath her pillow. Just as she did the door opened and she could hear footsteps coming towards her. She rolled onto her side quickly and pointed the gun at the noise.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Preston screamed dropping the tray he was holding on the floor. He sounded like a little girl.

Irina quickly engaged the safety and put the gun back in the drawer."I'm so sorry, I heard a noise and thought it was someone breaking in."

Preston was still breathing hard and his eyes were enlarged to an abnormally large size.

"It's ok." he finally managed to say.

She cleaned up the mess and escorted him to his room.

"Um, goodnight." she said awkwardly.

"Yeah. Goodnight Irina." he said.

As soon as she left he crawled onto his bed and curled into a ball and began to cry. Little did he know his wife wasn't having much luck either.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own alias and if I did it would still be on the air. They belong to JJ and Bad Robot.

Chapter 5: Leslie regrets

Leslie Maynor exits the limo and gasps. The Bristow's house is three times bigger than her own. There are rose bushes planted in front of the house.

"Ah. They can't be to bad they plant roses" she thought. What she didn't know was that the roses weren't the reason for the bushes the thorns were. Irina collected them to use during her "interrogations" because nothing hurt worse than rose thorns under the fingernails.

She walked up to the door and opened it. She was slightly disappointed with the interior the walls were a dull brown color the fireplace in the living room had a black marble mantle, and to her horror there behind the sofa was a bar fully stocked. As she wandered the house looking for family photos she wandered into Jack's office. She sighed in relief there on his desk was a photo of Jack and Irina when they renewed their vows. Upon further inspection she noticed Irina had a custom made diamond encrusted knife strapped to her leg, and the butt of Jack's magnum could be seen sticking out of his waist band. She dropped the picture and ran out of the room. She then entered the kitchen and poured herself a glass of tea. She took one sip and spit it out it had a unfamiliar taste. She didn't know that it was a mixture of tea and gin.

She settled for orange juice and sat down to read Irina's instructions.

It said:

Dear Mrs. Maynor,

Don't do anything that you will regret later. Don't mess with my guns, my family, and especially not my husband. If you mess with any of the above mentioned. I will kill you.

Have Fun.

Irina B.

Leslie shivered this house had become suddenly cold.

"She didn't say anything about the alcohol." she thought, so she grabbed a trashcan and skipped off to the bar.

She began throwing away the margarita salt, and half empty bottles. She was so consumed with her work that she didn't hear Jack's car pull up. Her back was to him as he stepped through the door.

******

Jack had a bad day. He was tired and sore to the bone. Kendall had forced him to sit through four briefings today. A simple meeting with a contact had gone horribly wrong and he was beaten before he was able to gun down two of the men. After the remaining few were caught he spent the rest of the day interrogating them. All he wanted now was a drink and a full body massage. As he entered the house he groaned when he remembered Irina wasn't here his "new wife" would be here. He dropped his briefcase by the door and smiled to himself when he saw the blond bombshell behind the bar.

"Irina is still hotter." he thought. Before he could open his mouth to speak he noticed she was throwing things away.

******

Leslie reached for the bottle of Chivas that was sitting on the counter. As she went to put it in the trash Jack yelled.

"Hey, what the h*ll do you think your doing." he walked over and snatched the bottle from her.

"Hi! I'm Leslie!" she said resisting the urge to run screaming. He was staring at her like he was ready to kill her.

"Jack Bristow" he said his frown never fading "Now answer my question, what the h*ll are you doing."

"I was removing the temptation of alcohol from your home." she said her voice was beginning to shake.

"Well let me tell you something. I like the temptation." Jack answered his face inches from hers.

"He's quite handsome actually" she thought to herself "if I move forward a fraction of an inch I could kiss him" she was intrigued by the danger this man presented.

Jack stepped away from her opened the bottle of Chivas and downed half of it in one swallow.

"Leslie there is a menu for a Chinese place in the top drawer over there order takeout. I'm going to shower and I'll be back down in a minute."

As he turned to leave she noticed that his head was bleeding and his eye had a purplish tint around it.

"What happened to your face Jack."

"I got jumped by seven guys."

"Oh My! Did you call the cops."

"No I called the morgue." He said going upstairs leaving her cringing in horror.

Leslie called in their order. Ten minutes later the delivery boy arrived.

Leslie didn't have any money on her so she called for Jack.

Jack walked down the stair his hair still wet wearing nothing but a towel. She couldn't help but stare he was built for a man his age, not overly muscled just tone. There was a long white scar across his chest. She would ask about it later.

He handed the delivery boy the money took the food and closed the door.

"Here. I have to get dressed." he said handing her the bag.

A few minutes later he came back downstairs his hair still slightly wet. He was wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt. They sat for a few moments in silence.

"Um Jack. Can I ask you a question."

He looked at her fury evident in his eyes, he hated answering strangers questions.

"How did you get that scar across your chest."

"Irina is really good with a samurai sword." he answered laughing at Leslie's intake of breath.

"Why did she have a sword were you two fighting?" she asked a little afraid to hear the answer.

"You could say that. She found out I had an affair."

"Oh my goodness. Did she have to cut you with a sword though."

"It was with her sister."

They sat for a few more moments in silence until Jack excused himself and went to bed.

Later that night Leslie was deep in a dream.

Jack was hovering over her spilling kisses down her body. Every nerve in her body was on fire. They moved in perfect unison each taking as much as they gave. As she neared her climax the bedroom door burst open and a tall brunette beauty came rushing into the room. The sword in Irina's hand glinted in the moon light. She swung it, easily slicing Jack in two. Then she brought it down towards Leslie. She tried to scream but no sound came out.

She awoke soaked in sweat. Seconds later Jack burst through the door gun trained on her.

She screamed again jumped out of bed and while doing so knocked the lamp off the bedside table breaking it into a million pieces.

"Why were you screaming?" he yelled at her, he still hadn't lowered his gun.

"N-n-n-n-nightmare." she stammered.

He finally lowered the gun.

"Clean that up, and go back to bed. Unlike you I have to work in the morning."

"Why can't I do Irina's job she's doing mine." Leslie asked.

He laughed.

"You want to do Irina's job."

"Yeah."

Jack left the room and made a call. A few minutes later he reentered the room. Leslie was still in the same spot he had left her.

"Congrats Mrs. Maynor. You will be joining me at work tomorrow. I'm sure the life of a CIA agent is just what you always dreamed of."

"What!" She screamed she was shaking violently.

"Yeah, that's Irina's job she is a field agent and an analytical specialist. The best part is that we have a mission in Tokyo tomorrow so you might want to hurry and clean that up you're going to need your sleep."

Jack walked out of the room his face stoic and uncaring.

"Oh yeah" he said looking back in her room "no more screaming I might not catch myself the next time."

She didn't move until she heard his bedroom door close. She cleaned up the mess and curled up in a ball on the bed the pillow clutched to her chest. She began to cry. She had wanted adventure but not this much. She hand never even held a gun. What had she gotten herself into. She began crying harder when she realized her husband and kids were in the house with a trained assassin.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I know nothing about girl scouts or the names of their divisions this is completely fiction if this is an actual name of a troop it is purely by chance

The bold writing is a memory.

Chapter 6: Maybe at the rule change

Irina had always hated hangovers. She awoke with a splitting headache and her ears were ringing. She groaned and rolled over and hid her face. What was that annoying sound? She looked up onto the nightstand and saw the alarm clock it read 7:30. Who wakes up at 7 freaking thirty. The alarm clock continued to ring so Irina pulled out her gun making sure to put the silencer on and put two rounds into the annoying device.

"Uhhh! I'm awake now." Irina thought.

She rose out of bed stretching her stiff muscles.

"Jack why…" she stopped herself she wasn't at home she was in a stranger's house. She went into the bathroom and took two Tylenol. She looked up in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly red but other than that she looked normal. She returned to the bedroom and unpacked a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt. She took these things and went back in the bathroom to take a shower. As the water cascaded through her hair she sighed showering was always better with Jack.

******

**She heard him before she saw him. She heard the woosh of the shower door as Jack returned from the gym. She was just reaching out for the shampoo when his hand intercepted her own. He took the shampoo off the shelf and poured a generous amount in his hand.**

"**Let me." he whispered close to her ear.**

**He began lathering her hair all the while whispering sweet nothings. **

**Irina moaned at his ministrations. He stopped massaging her scalp and let his hands roam to her waist pushing her underneath the spray of water. She reached up helping him rinse all the shampoo out of her hair. Then she turned around and ran her hands over his chest.**

"**What took you so long?" she said against his lips.**

"**Sorry the guys wanted to try a longer workout routine."**

**She kissed him lightly. "You're forgiven."**

**He just laughed and closed the distance between them. Irina reluctantly broke the kiss.**

"**Don't the guys ever wonder why you come all the way home to shower."**

"**Yeah. Dixon asked once."**

"**And what did you tell him."**

"**I told him my Russian goddess is always waiting for me at home."**

"**You are so cheesy, but nice try." she said kissing him again.**

**She reached over and took his body wash and began cleaning him off. **

**A few minutes later the exited the shower and wrapped each other in towels. Jack wrapped his arms around Irina pulling her to his chest. **

"**I love you." he said**

"**I love you too." she answered.**

**He brought his mouth down to hers again but this time in a searing passionate kiss. He lifted her onto the counter and began kissing down her body. **

********

"Um. Irina." a voice brought her out of her daydream followed by a knocking on the door.

"Come in." she said stepping out of the shower. Before she could secure the towel around her waist Preston came through the door.

"Oh my! I'm sor…" he said. He froze she was stunning.

"Can I help you Preston." she said snapping him out of his degenerate thoughts.

"Um, yes I was wondering if you were still cooking breakfast."

"Yes I was just getting ready to start. Is that all."

"Do you know about your schedule for today."

"What schedule your wife doesn't work besides it's Saturday."

"SHE DOES WORK, SHE IS A HOMEMAKER AND A VERY GOOD ONE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF AND FURTHERMORE SINCE IT IS SATURDAY YOU MUST FILL IN A TROOP LEADER ON MY DAUGHTER'S GIRL SCOUT EXHIBITION. ARE WE CLEAR." he yelled. When he finished Irina was no longer in the bathroom. He walked back into the guest bedroom. As he stepped across the threshold Irina grabbed him holding a knife to his throat.

"Who were you yelling at?" she said her voice cold as ice.

"S..S….Sorry."

"You listen and you listen good" she said pressing the knife into his throat until it drew blood "never yell at me. I am not your wife. I won't take crap from you. Now I'm going to let you go and since I'm trying to do the right thing I will help with the girl scout stuff okay. Now go downstairs and sit and if I hear you say one word about this I will slit your throat right below the artery so you will die a slow painful death. Do you understand me."

"Y…Y…Yes." he stammered.

"Dad!" Kevin screamed from the doorway.

Irina let him go and hid the knife behind her back.

"Daddy why did she have a knife to your neck."

"We were just playing son." Preston said holding his neck. He left holding Kevin's hand.

Irina put away her knife and finished getting dressed. Then she went downstairs and began making pancakes.

"Irina." a small voice said behind her.

She turned and flashed the warmest smile she could manage.

"Yes Kevin what can I do for you." she said while fixing him a plate.

"What were you and my daddy playing."

"I can't tell you that it's a grown up game."

"Oh." he said taking a bite of his pancakes.

"Kevin do you like action movies." she asked pouring his glass of juice.

"I've never seen one. My mom and dad said their a bad influence."

"You're seven you should be running around playing with toy guns and tanks not looking at educational films and playing Scrabble. Have you ever heard of paintball guns."

"Yeah."

"Would you like to learn how to shoot one."

"Yeah!"

"Well I'll tell you what I'll teach you once the rules change."

"Ok!"

"What's going to happen when the rules change?" Preston asked coming through the door. He was wearing a turtleneck.

"I didn't leave that big of a mark." Irina thought.

"Nothing." she said sending him a look that could turn lava to ice.

He cringed and sat down.

"Good Morning my wonderful family." Kayle sung as she skipped through the door wearing a bright blue skirt with matching hat, shirt and socks. She was wearing a dark blue vest over the skirt and slung across her shoulder was a sash with at least sixteen different badges displayed on it. In her hand was a bundle of clothes of the same style.

"What are you wearing." Irina said trying to hold back her laughter.

"My Girl Scouts uniform. I am a proud member of Troop 173, a Sky Trooper, we are a proud group of young girls devoted to our family, community, and country. We believe in honor, integrity, honesty, and responsibility and you have the pleasure of joining our ranks today on our exhibition."

"Yay." Irina answered dryly.

"Here you go your official uniform." Kayle said handing the bundle in her arms to Irina.

"You have got to be kidding me." Irina said taking the hideous uniform from her.

"Nope we must be at Jaybird trail by 9 o'clock."

Irina flashed a forced smile. She had never liked girl scouts which is why she never allowed Sydney to become one.

Millions of miles away her husband was handing Leslie Maynor a uniform of a different sort.


	7. Chapter 7

Just a funny little part i thought up

Chapter 7: Jack's Ipod

"Hello my name is Devin Fredrick and this is my wife Stacey. I believe the executive section has been reserved for us." Jack said his Australian accent flawless.

"Of course sir. If you don't mind me asking what is an Australian business man such as yourself see in Tokyo." the man behind the counter asked obviously having seen the perfect credit score and forged business history Marshall had made.

Jack Bristow was now Devin Fredrick an Australian self-made millionaire. He started his business when he was nineteen and was unnaturally smooth with the ladies. His wife Stacey at one point was his secretary. They had been happily married for 4 years and were currently co-partners in his business. He had the silver tongue and she had the looks to attract male clients. For this alias he had dyed his hair jet black and used gel to create spikes, the spikes were a rust red color. He hadn't planned on dyeing his hair but Sydney swore it made him look 20 years younger. He was wearing a white Armani suit. Leslie after much complaining was fitted with a red cropped wig, and green contacts. She felt very uncomfortable wearing the thigh length blue halter top dress with matching stilletos, she felt like a harlot.

"The savviest businessmen are in Tokyo and they know a good opportunity when they see it. Besides they also have the prettiest masseuses." He said sending the kid a wink.

"Here you go sir enjoy your flight."

"Oh we will won't we honey." he said wrapping his arm around Leslie's waist. She felt a shiver run down her spine and without realizing it turned into his embrace.

Jack looked bewildered for a moment was she acting or was this real. He kept his arm around her until they got on the plane. They entered the private room designated for them and sat down. Jack switched on his comms unit.

"Base ops this is Watchtower, Sunny and I are in route."

"Copy that Watchtower." Vaughn's voice said from headquarters.

"Watchtower tell Sunny to turn on her comms for maintenance check."

"Leslie connect your earring."

"What?" Leslie asked confusion on her face.

"Nevermind I'll get it." Jack said reaching over connecting the earring.

"Sunny this Base ops. Do you copy."

"Um roger. Base ops." she said unable to hear the laughter coming from Weiss.

"Going radio silent we'll make contact once we get to the hotel."

"Copy that." Vaughn answers.

Jack turned off his comms and reclined in his seat. He opened his bag pulled out his Ipod and put in his earbuds.

Stacey stood in shock how could he act so nonchalant they were going to face the Lord of the Japanese Underworld in a few hours and steal his plans for his new compound without getting caught which would be nearly impossible since they were meeting him at his home which basically is the Japanese Alcatraz. Leslie took a couple deep breaths and tried to relax. She straightened up again when she heard the lyrics to the song Jack was listening to.

_I like it when she rock her hips and take it low._

_She grab the towel and wipe the pole. Oh,Oh shawty got it goin on._

_It's just me and her and I'm in my zone._

_Got D*mn check out her rack shawty got a fat a** _

_Watch her throw that s*ht back._

She couldn't believe it, was that rap!

"Um Jack." she said nudging him.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"What."

"What are you listening to."

"Rock Your Hips by Crime Mob. Why?" he asked.

"Oh why do you like that song, you don't seem like a rap guy" she inquired.

"I heard it once at the club with Irina. She is an amazing dancer."

"So she was on a stripper's pole or something."

"No. I was her pole." Jack sat back to and turned on his music once again lost in his degenerate memories.

Leslie just stood dumbfounded, him and his wife seemed so sexually attuned to each other.

Jack's music continued to blast.

_Now I got thirty two flavors _

_Of that bootilicous bubblegum raspberry_

_Grape, cherry come and get this honey bun._

****

Back in Los Angeles Weiss and Vaughn were on the floor laughing. Leslie had forgot to turn of her comms and they had heard every word of the brief conversation concerning Jack's song choice. Sydney and Nadia blanched the thought of their parents at a club dancing on each other not exactly what they wanted to hear.

Lyrics are from Rock your hips by Crime Mob.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Maybe this won't be so bad

Irina pulled the van into the parking lot of the walking trail. Kayle jumped out face still showing disgust with her new "mommy". She quickly distanced herself from Irina and joined her friend. Irina stepped out of the van and took the bags out of trunk. The rest of the moms looked at her with uncertainty. What had she done to their uniform.

Irina had customized the uniform to fit her style. She had shortened the skirt a couple inches just to be spiteful but left the socks. She had forgone the blue vest and wore a black cotton one instead underneath it she wore the shirt. The hat she left at home and simply tied her hair back with a blue scrunchie. To top it all off instead of wearing the white Dockers Kayle had offered her she put on her black Jordans instead. Lets just say she didn't look like any girl scout troop leader anyone had ever seen.

"Hi Irina. I'm Jennifer." a woman wearing the matching uniform to Kayle's said.

Irina didn't like the looks of this woman. She reminded her too much of Ariana Kane.

"Hi." Irina answered cheerier than she felt.

"I'm the overall Troop leader and these are some of the other moms that will be with us today." she said pointing the three women who were trying to be intimidating.

Irina looked over and was greeted by three sets of evil eyes. She smiled for a moment then shot them a look that had made them shriek in fright.

"I'm sure I'll have a wonderful time." she said to Jennifer.

When Jennifer left she reached into her bag and strapped her knife to her neck and placed to more in her waistband. She then grabbed the backpacks and joined the rest of the group.

"Ok girls gather round." Jennifer announced, the teenagers formed a perfect row smiles shining and eyes eager.

"Let me introduce you to the wonderful ladies who agreed to help us today."

"This is Julia Newman my niece." she said pointing to a mild mannered young woman. She looked no older than the other girls.

"Kate Jenkins, Melissa's mom." she said pointing to a blond who seemed to be the leader of the pack.

"Pam Garcia, Maria's mom." she remarked pointing to a woman who could have been the older version of Nadia. She was flashing a brillant smile that Irina thought was fake.

"and this is Irina Bristow she will be filling in for Leslie today." the girls looked at Irina and smiled.

"We're glad to have you with us Mrs. Bristow." they said in unison.

After swallowing down the vomit that had rose in her throat she smiled back.

"Glad to be here."

"Ok ladies let's go."

"Mrs. Jen" one of the girls said "isn't that your brother."

Everyone turned around to see where she was pointing. All the other women began smiling and adjusting their hair. Irina couldn't understand what they were all giddy over. The ranger walked over to their group and hugged Jennifer.

"Irina this is my brother Chuck." she said introducing the six foot three man standing next to her.

"Um, nice to meet you Irina." he said extending his hand. She shook his hand and took a closer look at his face. He was actually quite good looking. His hair was a chestnut brown about the same color as hers, he was sporting a warm smile that wasn't nauseating, and his muscles looked like they were trying to bust out of his shirt. But his eyes made her heart skip a beat they were the color as Jack's. Eyes so dark brown that they look like their black. Eyes she could drown in.

He released her hand and smiled again.

"Ok ladies if you don't mind I will be accompanying you. There have been some reports of bears on the trail" he said "who knows how to use a gun."

The rest of the ladies just looked at each other.

"I do." Irina said. He handed her a double barrel shotgun and ammo. She took them from him, loaded the gun and cocked it.

"I like a woman who knows her way with a gun." he said winking at her.

The rest of the women looked at her with anger and disgust. Irina idly turned the barrel towards them.

"AHHHH!" they screamed ducking.

"Sorry I thought I saw some movement." Irina said showing an "innocent" smile.

"Ok I'll have the boys check it out." Chuck said "Let's go."

The rest of the party started off down the trail. Chuck and Irina lingered behind, when Irina started to walk off Chuck grabbed her arm.

"Great job playing that off." he said smiling.

He started off down the trail Irina in perfect stride next to him.

Maybe this trip won't be so bad Irina thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: You can't handle it

As the plane taxied in to the airport Jack once again assumed the identity of Devin Fredrick. He wrapped his arm around Leslie or should I say Stacey. They walked out of the terminal and gathered their bags. He went to the Avis car rental terminal and rented a Mazarati. They walked out of the airport to their car looking like a happily married couple. Jack opened the door for Leslie and climbed in the driver's seat.

As Jack crank up the car he noticed a man in a black hoodie coming toward the car.

"Hand me my duffle bag." he whispered to Leslie.

She reached into the backseat and handed him the black bag.

He reached into it taking out his .99 and put on the silencer. He put it in his lap never taking his eyes of the approaching figure.

"Good afternoon sir." the man said removing his hood. He had on a cop's uniform but Jack wasn't fooled he knew this guy. Good thing this parking lots deserted Jack thought.

Leslie stared at the man she had seen his face before.

"Sir could you step out of the car it seems your car is leaking." the man said smiling.

"Of course." Jack answered smoothly moving the gun to his waistband.

He stepped out of the car and walked to the trunk of the car with the man.

It was at that moment Leslie remembered where she saw his face before.

"JACK LOOKOUT HE'S THE HITMAN THEY WARNED US ABOUT!" she yelled out the window.

Hearing Leslie's outburst the man pulled out a knife and lunged towards Jack. Jack caught the man's hand but not quick enough to keep his side from being sliced open. He kicked the man behind the knees sending him sprawling the knife clattering uselessly on the ground. Jack grabbed at his side trying to stem the flow of blood. He raised his gun shot the man once between the eyes and climbed back in the car. He floored it and shot out into Tokyo traffic. He contacted headquarters and requested a cleanup team.

"Good thing I remembered right." Leslie said feeling proud.

"Don't talk to me right now." he answered through gritted teeth.

"You are so ungrateful I just saved your life. Neither one of us was hurt" she yelled at him.

"SAVED MY LIFE. I KNEW WHO HE WAS. I HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL UNTIL YOU DECIDED TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH. LOOK AT THIS," he said removing his hand from his wound showing her the blood soaking through his shirt. "DOES THAT LOOK LIKE I WASN'T HURT."

"Oh my God. Jack I'm sorry," she exclaimed "We need to get you to a hospital."

"We can't go to a hospital it would compromise the mission. Besides I've had worse." he said grimacing.

One hour later he pulled up to front of the hotel and stopped the car. He pulled on his black jacket and stepped out the car. After handing the keys to the valet he checked them in and escorted Leslie to the elevator.

"Are you ok." she asked, Jack's eyes were starting to pale.

"Yeah. I just need to get to the room." he said, his eyes were closed and he was breathing heavier.

The elevator door opened and they stepped out. Leslie took the key from Jack and opened the door to their suite.

Jack stepped inside and collapsed into the chair. She ran over to him her face showing concern.

"Jack what do you need." she said.

"Alcohol." he said wincing as he applied more pressure.

She went over to the mini bar and pulled out a bottle of Scotch.

By the time she returned to Jack's side he had removed his shirt. He had a nasty gash across his side. She crouched down by him and removed the towel he was holding to his side.

"Open the bottle and hand it to me." he said. He took the bottle and poured it over the cut. He bit his lip trying not to cry out.

"Do you know how to sew." he asked her.

"Yes." she answered unsure where he was going with this.

"Ok, good, now sew up the cut. There's a suture kit in my bag."

When she returned with the kit she kneeled down and threaded the needle.

"Go ahead." he said.

She bit her bottom lip and started sewing pulling the needle through the skin.

Jack winced and she stilled.

"Keep going."

She continued until the cut was sewn up completely.

Jack checked out her work. He was impressed.

"Thank you." he said catching Leslie off guard.

"What." she replied bewildered.

"Thank you." he repeated. He rose from the chair and went to take a shower and change his clothes.

"Your welcome." she said.

He returned a few moments later wearing nothing but boxers.

"Hey! What are you doing." she said looking at him bewildered.

He just laughed and turned on his comms.

"Base Ops this is Watchtower what's the status on cleanup."

"Taken care of Watchtower. Our guys handled it."

"Copy that everything's ok here."

"Copy that. Everything on schedule for tonight."

"Yes. Everything is in order. Going radio silent until then."

"Copy that."

With that Jack turned off his comms and stretched out on the bed. He was asleep in minutes.

Leslie just looked at him. This man intrigued her, Preston cried when he got a splinter, but Jack was a real man he could handle anything.

Forget the consequences she thought. She took off her jacket throwing it on the floor. She kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed with Jack. She straddled him, and he shot up his eyes unfocused. She reached up and placed her finger against his lips.

"What are you doing." he mumbled.

"Shh. Let me take care of you." she said kissing his chest.

"You don't want to do this." he said pushing her off him.

"Yes I do, I want you Jack."

"You can't handle me." he said slyly.

"Try me."

With that Jack grabbed her head bringing her lips only inches from his, and kept them that way for a minute, it was enough to prove his point. She fell backwards onto the bed once he released her, her chest was heaving.

"Told you. Besides I don't want to attend your funeral." he said stretching out again.

Leslie went and sat in a chair by the window, her breath was still labored, how was he able to do that without doing anything. But one thing was true she wanted more.

Jack lay on the bed his thoughts drifting to Irina. She did do a lot for him. She had his back on missions, she always went out of her way to show him she cared, and she was more than his lover, and wife. She was his friend. He sighed wondering what she was doing and if she was thinking about him.


	10. Chapter 10

A look at Irina's softer side

Chapter 10: I forgave him already

Irina and the rest of the scouts stopped once they reached the river.

"Ok girls gather round." Jen announced.

The girls sat on the ground cross-legged in front of her. Irina and the other adults stood behind them.

"We are here at Black Bear River for one reason. Do you girls remember what that is?"

"To learn how to catch fish." they said in unison no longer trying to hide their lack of enthusiasm.

A freaking fishing trip. Irina thought. If I wanted to go fishing I would have stayed in Los Angeles.

"That's right. Yes Maria."

"Mrs. Jen, how are we going to fish without poles."

"Good question Maria. We will be using these." she said holding up her hands.

"Why should they their hands when they could use knives." Irina said teasingly.

"We are trying to get in touch with nature by fishing the way bears do." Jen fired back "Besides you can't catch a fish with a knife."

"Really care to bet." Irina said a devilish glint in her eyes.

"Sure. If I win we turn you into a real girl scout" Jen said. Irina was immediately intrigued she always liked a challenge.

"And if I win the girls get to do something fun."

"I bet you can't." the rest of the women said.

"I say she can" Chuck interjected.

With that Irina took off the vest gave Chuck the gun and removed the knife from her waist. The blade of the knife glinted in the sun and she tossed it in her hands. The girls stood up watching her eagerly they had never seen such a display of skill.

If Irina could pull this off it would make her so much cooler Kayle thought.

Irina removed her shades and watched the water. She looked for the ripple of a fish swimming. As the fish launched itself out of the water she gave a flick of her wrist sending the knife cleanly through the fish pinning it to a tree across the bank.

The entire party gasped at what they had just seen.

"That was awesome." the girls said in unison. "Can you teach us."

"I don't think that's in the girls scouts manual." Irina said lowering her shades. She walked back over to where the other women were standing with their jaws still dropped.

Irina took the gun from Chuck again.

"That was the single greatest show of weaponry I have ever seen." Jen said awestruck.

"Yeah. Leslie could never do anything like that." The rest of them chimed in.

After a moments silence Jen said "Girls do you have your swim trunks."

"Yes." they said in unison.

"Well according to the bet you all can do something fun so hit the water."

With a shriek the girls changed to their bathing suits and dove into the water. The adults quickly followed suit.

"Irina," Kayle said walking up to her as she sat on the bank "Thanks. That was really cool. My mom could never do anything like that."

"I'm sure you and your mom do a lot of things together." Irina said.

Kayle shifted her feet a little. "Well, we go shopping but she only buys things she likes the pastel look isn't for me."

"Kayle do you want me to show you how to spear a fish with a knife."

"Would I!" she exclaimed.

"Shhh. I'll show you when the rules change. Believe me I am going to bring some more fun into your house."

"Cool, well I better get back to my friends," she replied running back towards the water "Oh and Irina."

"Yes Kayle."

"Your daughters are really lucky."

Irina couldn't help but smile she was starting to like this kid, she had spunk and a little rebellious side that was begging to be released.

"Irina you wanna go for a walk." Chuck asked coming to a halt by her side clad in nothing but swimming trunks.

"What about them." she answered.

"They'll be fine."

They walked back into the woods. Irina felt awkward alone with this man. It didn't help that she was unarmed now.

"So you're married." he spoke finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"So tell me about your husband."

"His name's Jack. He's the funniest, sexist, most romantic, and overall best guy I've ever met."

"Wow. Sounds like you really love him."

"I do."

"Then why are you on Wife Swap."

"Because I feel like we've been drifting apart lately it started when he slept with my sister."

"Why would he cheat on you."

"He thought I cheated first."

"But with your sister."

"She was there for him when I couldn't be. I mean I forgave him a long time ago but I can't forget. He has apologized so many times but it still hurts. I got so mad at first that I hurt him but I only ended up hurting myself too. I love him so much and the thought of him being with another woman makes me sick. Every since I've been here I have trouble sleeping without his arms around me. Oh my God why am I telling you this."

"It's cool I don't mind listening."

"Thanks I guess we should head back." Irina said turning around.

"Irina" Chuck said behind her "Let me hold you."

"What?" she answered turning around to see Chuck just inches from her.

"Let me hold you," he said brushing a piece of hair behind her ear "While you're here let me hold you. Let me be there. You just said your husband had an affair because he thought you were cheating, you have the right to do the same."

"No. Chuck you're a great guy but I can't cheat on my husband."

"He never has to know." he said closing the distance between them kissing her fiercely. Irina reacted before she could think. She head butted him sending him sprawling into a tree.

"I'm not going to do that."

"Sorry." he said holding his head. She helped him stand up.

Chuck turned to go back to the ranger station when from out of nowhere sprang a huge black bear. Chuck screamed and threw down his gun.

"Chuck stay still." Irina said slowly edging towards him.

"What are you doing." Chuck said his voice shaking.

"Are you crying."

"N….N….No."

"Toss your gun over here."

"The bear will try to attack you."

"I know that's why you need to throw me the gun."

"Irina I'm scared."

"What kind of ranger are you, just throw me the gun."

"But."

"On the count of three."

"One." the bear growled from deep in its throat.

"Two." It reared up on its hind legs.

"Three. Now!"

Just as the gun flew through the air the bear charged Irina. She caught the gun but wasn't able to fire it as 230lbs of fur fell on top of her.

She felt pain rip through her stomach as its claws tore through her flesh. She made one final effort to get her hand free. She was able to free her hand and fired a shot straight through the bear's heart. The bear fell on top her and her breath caught in her throat.

"Jack." she whispered before losing consciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: She's going to be mad

Jack was in the bathroom finishing his hair. As he looked up into the mirror he felt his heart skip a beat. He froze the only time he had that feeling was when Irina was in trouble. His suspicion was confirmed when he felt the pain spread like his heart was being ripped apart.

"Irina" he whispered to the air. As soon as he spoke he felt the pain dwindle to an annoying twinge. He relaxed she was okay. He walked out of the bathroom to see Leslie still trying to strap up her stilettos.

"Let me." he said kneeling down.

"Jack about earlier." she started.

"Don't worry about it. Just know I'm never going to cheat on my wife." he said standing up again.

"You did it before."

"Yeah I did and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Every since that day I've tried to forget what I did but the memory still haunts me. I already have enough ghosts of my past surrounding me I don't need another." he said pulling on his suit jacket.

Leslie smiled she admired this man his devotion, his love for his wife, his willingness to make her happy before he thought about himself. Then she asked the question that had been on her mind since she meet him.

"If you and your wife are so happy why are you on Wife Swap."

Jack looked at her as he adjusted his tie.

"Because I lost sight of who I really am. I got so caught up in work, in my promotion and what it could do for me that I forgot about Irina. I ignored her attempts to bring me back to myself. I ignored her," he paused sighing heavily "I forgot to let her know I love her."

"You tell her all the time don't you." Leslie inquired."Actions speak louder than words." he said.

Before she could speak again he turned on his comms.

"Base Ops this is Watchtower we are headed downstairs for the rendezvous."

"Copy that, security cameras will pick you up once you enter the restaurant. We have your back."

"Copy that."

Leslie turned on her comms, she was getting excited.

"Base Ops this is Sunny."

"Yeah Sunny are you ready."

"Yeah."

"Copy that."

"Over and out." Leslie said once again evoking laughter from Weiss and Vaughn.

Jack opened the hotel door for Leslie and linked arms with her as they walked toward the elevator.

"You nervous." Jack asked once the doors closed.

"A little I usually deal with Girl Scouts." Leslie said laughing to try to ease the butterflies in her stomach.

Jack chuckled the thought of Irina with a troop of Girl Scouts was hilarious. She had yanked Sydney out of the Girl Scouts when she was four because they weren't teaching her how to make fire.

As the elevator door opened onto a smoke filled lounge Jack put his arm around Leslie's waist.

"Here we go." he said stepping out.

He searched the room for their contact, he spotted him in a booth surrounded by women.

"Mess up your hair." he whispered to Leslie.

"What?"

"Just do it."

Leslie hastily ruffled up her hair. Jack undid his tie and ran his hand through his hair making it look disarrayed.

"What do I have to do to get a drink around here." he said his Australian accent flawlessly delivering the previously agreed upon identity message.

"That depends on who you ask." the man at the booth answered.

"Well I'm asking you aren't I."

The man dismissed the women and stood up.

"Devin Fredrick, nice to meet you I am Tahiro Yamoda a.k.a The Dragon."

"Likewise. This is my wife Stacey she assists me with my business."

"From the looks of you, you have already been busy."

Leslie's face turned pink.

"What can I say she can't keep her hands off me."

"Ahh yes, you they did say you were a ladies man. Please take a seat."

At the wave of Yamoda's hand a busboy appeared.

"Pick your poison Mr. Fredrick." Yamoda said taking a sip from his half empty glass.

"I'll have a Scotch, neat." Jack said coolly.

"And you Mrs. Fredrick."

"I'll have a…" her mind came up blank she didn't drink.

"Say a vodka on ice." Weiss said through her comms.

"I'll have a vodka on ice." she said trying to copy Jack's calm demeanor.

A few seconds later the boy came back with their drinks.

Leslie took one sip of hers and gagged.

S**t Jack said.

He reached over and took a sip of her drink spitting it onto the floor.

"What is this dishwater." he said feigning anger.

"I'm sorry sir," the boy said cleaning up the spilled drink "I'll get you another."

"Don't bother." Jack said waving him away.

He then turned back to Yamoda.

"Now," he started "Let's talk business. I have the offer of a lifetime for you. My guys are the best thiefs around. They are only after good quality equipment. I'm talking new stuff, bullets, guns, armor, you name it we can get it, and believe me you'll need it for your compound."

"Ah yes my compound. I am proud to say the plans were just finished would you like to take a look."

"Your trusting me so soon." Jack fired back teasingly but he had to admit it was a little strange.

"Yes Mr. Fredrick I have heard of your work and I must say I am impressed."

"Really."

"Yes there is one problem though."

"And that is what." Jack said reaching for his gun under the pretext of placing his had on Leslie's thigh.

"All of your past clients have been busted by the cops either the day of or a few days after your meetings."

"Because the rest of them made stupid mistakes. You I know are much smarter."

"You flatter me Devin or should I say Jack."

"Who?" Jack said clenching his jaw, how did he know.

"Ah yes Jonathan Donahue Bristow, a.k.a Jack 56 years old married to one Irina Derevko Bristow."

Leslie began to whimper and clutched Jack's arm.

"Hmm. So much for trying to get the plans diplomatically." Jack said whipping out his gun and pointing it at Yamoda.

"Ahh, you fool guards."

A dozen men jumped up from seats in the restaurant training their guns on the couple seated with their boss.

"You underestimated me Jack."

Jack looked defeated and lowered his gun.

"How did you know who I was?" Jack asked.

"Because I recognized you." a voice said from the shadows. Arvin Sloane walked from the shadows a sickly smile painting his face.

"You son of a…" Jack up and lunged for Arvin. Two guards jumped in the way grabbing him by the arms. Arvin walked up and punched him squarely in the stomach sending Jack to his knees. He lobbed more body shots at Jack until he was unconscious. The guards let him go making him slump down on the floor.

"Now throw him out the window." Yamoda ordered.

"What about the woman."

"Her too."

The guards picked up Jack and Leslie taking them to the window overlooking the water.

They tossed both of them at once. Leslie screamed she didn't want to die like this. Jack's eyes snapped open and he grabbed her pulling her to his chest.

"Take a breath." he yelled moments before they hit the water.

From above Arvin only saw them hit the water. They stood for a few minutes waiting for them to resurface, they never did.

"Thanks for holding on to the plans for me." Yamoda said to Arvin.

"No problem.""Now may I have them back." he said extending his hand.

"Of course." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the folded blueprints.

Yamoda opened it, a look of anger crossed his face.

"What is this, your idea of a joke." he said.

"What are you talking about." Arvin asked bewildered.

Yamoda turned the page around. There printed in Jack's steady hand was one word.

BOOM!

"That son of a"

The 13th floor of the hotel exploded crushing the occupants thereof, but not causing damage to any other floors.

Two miles away a man and his wife were boarding a plane headed back to Los Angeles after a long tourist trip to Tokyo. The woman looked stressed out her eyes were wide with horror or wonder. The man had a smile playing on his lips. As Jack stared out the window of the plane as Tokyo faded beneath them he couldn't help but think of what Irina would say when she returned, he had killed Arvin Sloane without her. She would be thoroughly pissed. He closed his eyes, he really missed Irina. Leslie was ok but she wasn't Irina by any means. He hadn't noticed until now, the gun he had hidden in his bag now was hers.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: This has never been done

Irina awoke with a pain across her stomach. She rubbed her hand across her stomach and felt the bandages. She sat up barely noticing the pain shooting through her waist. She had been stripped down to her boyshorts and her bra.

"Your awake." a girl's voice said.

Irina opened her eyes groggily.

Kayle Maynor was standing next to her bed, concern showing on her face.

"Are you ok."

"Yeah." Irina said swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She tried to stand up and felt a hand try to push her back down. Preston stood there, a blank expression on his face.

"The doctor wants you to rest." he said.

"I have rested." she said shrugging off his hand. She stood up.

The doctor walked into the room.

"Ah Mrs. Bristow I see you're up," he said walking over to her "please be patient, you have only been in my care for a day. Do you remember what happened to you?"

"Yeah I was attacked by Winne's evil cousin." Irina said her voice annoyed.

"Ha, ha very funny Mrs. Bristow. Will you please let me examine you? If everything checks out I will turn you into your family's capable hands."

Irina lay back down as the doctor palpated her stomach. She winced when he touched her ribs.

They must be bruised she thought.

"Other than a bruised rib and some scratches you're ok. Are you sure you want to leave?" he asked her making changes to her chart.

"Yes I do." she said sitting up again.

"Alright," he said "I'll get an orderly to wheel you out."

"I'm not getting in a wheelchair." Irina said defiantly, as she pulled on her clothes.

"It's protocol," Preston said. "Leslie would follow protocol."

"Forget what Leslie would do. I bet Leslie wouldn't have shot a bear. I bet Leslie wouldn't be able to spear a fish with a knife. I bet Leslie would have slept with Chuck Newman when he hit on her and you know what I wouldn't blame her, she is married to a cowardly, annoying, overbearing, punk like you."

"Don't you dare. You haven't even tried to live like Leslie."

"You know what you're right I haven't I have stayed one day in your house and every time I look at your face it makes me sick. Your kids have no fun, you don't listen to them and you think you have the perfect marriage when I can see that you don't. You and your wife are so caught up with trying to be the perfect family that you lost who you are."

"Whatever I got to get to the office. You can catch a cab." he said turning on his heel.

At that moment the orderly came in the room with a wheelchair.

"Are you ready Mrs. Bristow." she said smiling.

"I don't do wheelchairs." she repeated walking past the orderly, Kayle at her heels.

"Irina. Can I ask you a question?" Kayle said.

"What?" Irina answered she was really irritated and wanted a drink.

"Why are you on Wife Swap?"

Irina walked out of the hospital and hailed a taxi. She and Kayle got in.

"I understand if you don't want to answer me." Kayle said turning towards the window.

"I don't know," Irina said slowly "I thought I did. I thought my husband didn't appreciate me but now that I think about it he does. He's been working a lot lately but he still takes the time out to make me laugh. He constantly tells me he loves me and I know it's the truth I just want him to show it like he used to. But it's not all his fault, I have become distant too and I'll admit I haven't been very supportive of his promotion."

"Why not?" Kayle asked.

"If he gets it we will have to move to Washington D.C, and we just moved into our new house in L.A. I'm just now getting to know my daughters again and I don't want to leave them."

"Have you told him that?"

"No."

"Maybe you should."

"Yeah maybe I should. Thanks Kayle you're more mature than I thought."

The taxi arrived at the house.

"Hey Kayle." Irina said walking into the house.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to help me with dinner."

"Sure. You're actually going to cook."

"Yeah. I've decided to take this thing seriously, you're mom is probably doing my job right now so I'll try to act like her."

"Could you not be exactly like her. Her happiness is kind of nauseating."

"Of course." Irina said, she was starting to like this kid even more.

By the time Preston came home Irina had finished dinner. As Preston walked in the door he froze. Irina was standing there in a knee-length floral peach skirt, and a matching shirt.

"Welcome home Preston." she said hugging him "dinner's ready."

She helped him remove his jacket and lead him into the kitchen. She fixed him a plate and sat down. She had cooked him her famous fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn with homemade biscuits. After dinner she washed the dishes and excused herself for bed.

"Irina," Preston said as she walked by him "why are you doing this."

"I felt bad that I hadn't tried to follow your wife's rules. I just wanted to make it up to you."

As she turned to leave the phone rang.

"Hello, Maynor residence." Irina said.

"Mrs. Bristow this is Vincent Smith, how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Mrs. Bristow I have news for you. This has never been done on this show. We are going to allow you to go ahead and change the rules. I think both of you have went through more than enough while attempting to live the others life. So starting tomorrow you are in charge."

"Thank you Vince." she said a smile beginning to form on her face.

"Good night Mrs. Bristow."

"Yes it will be."

She hung up.

"Who was it." Preston asked.

"Vincent."

"What did he want."

"The rules change tomorrow." she said continuing up the steps.

She stopped. "Preston call your job, tell them you won't be able to make it to work."

Preston grimaced what did she have in store for him.

Irina went up to her room and opened her laptop. She logged into a secure network and IMed Jack.

_Handel4Me: Rule change starts tomorrow._

She smiled when Jack sent something back immediately.

_Mozart42: I know. I hate to see what Leslie is going to do._

_Handel4Me: Preston doesn't know what he's in for._

_Mozart42: Go easy on him._

_Handel4Me: I never pull punches._

_Mozart42: Believe me I know._

_Handel4Me:How did the mission go._

_Mozart42: Not so good. I have a new scar. _

_Handel4Me: What happened?_

_Mozart42: Leslie informed me and my assailant that she recognized him and he came after me with a knife._

_Handel4Me: Are you ok?_

_Mozart42: Yeah nothing a little R and R won't fix._

_Handel4Me: Was the mission successful?_

_Mozart42: Yes, and I killed Sloane in the process._

_Handel4Me: What! You were supposed to wait for me._

_Mozart 42: Sorry, there's always the chance he didn't die after all he is like a cockroach._

_Handel4Me: Yeah you're right. How are the girls?_

_Mozart42: Their fine, they miss you._

_Handel4Me: I miss them too. _

_Mozart42: I got to go. I miss you._

_Handel4Me: Miss you too._

As Irina got ready to disconnect another message came through.

_Mozart42: I love you Irina._

_Handel4Me: I love you too Jack._

_Mozart42: See you soon. I sent something to your e-mail, check it out._

Jack signed off and Irina followed suit.

She opened her e-mail and saw the file. She smiled when she saw what it was, it was a video from Jack.

"Hey sweetheart, its me. I just wanted to send you this to let you know I was thinking about you."

He pulled out a guitar and began to sing.

_There's something in your eye._

_Is everything alright._

_You look up to the sky you want something more darling._

_Give me your right hand._

_I think I understand._

_Follow me and you'll never have to wish again._

_I know that after tonight, you don't have to look up at the stars no, no, no, no._

_I know by the end of tonight you don't have to look up at the stars._

He followed with a beautiful solo on his guitar.

"That's all I know." he said a smile gracing his face.

"Well, I'll see you when you get home. I love you Irina." he blew her a kiss, then the screen went black.

Irina closed her laptop. She could feel the tears running down her face. She loved him so much. She reopened the laptop and made her own video and sent it to Jack. Then she stretched out and made plans for the rule change the next day. As she fell asleep she couldn't help but think about Jack. She decided that when she went home they were going to talk about his promotion to Director of Langley, and about the job she was offered at SVR in Moscow.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Rule Change Part 1

Jack awoke feeling better than he had in a long time. He sat up and stretched. He stood up and walked over to the curtains pulling them back. The morning sun made him squint to see. It was at that moment he thought that the sun was unusually bright for sunrise. He looked at the clock on his nightstand it was 9:30, he was going to be late for work. He heard a noise behind him. He turned grabbing for his gun he had placed on the nightstand before he went to bed, it wasn't there. He looked up to see Leslie standing in the door a brilliant smile on her face.

"Good morning," she sang coming through the door " You want some breakfast."

"No I'm going to be late for work." he said.

"Oh don't worry about being late silly. I called that nice man Kendall and he said he understood."

Jack froze he had never been late for a day of work and now was definitely not the time to start.

"I can't be late, I'm in competition with Kendall for Director of Langley. If I'm late for work how will that look to Devlin. Besides you said your husband is a mayor I bet he doesn't go in late for work."

"Actually he is late everyday. You see that is one of the perks of being in power you don't have to show up on time. You're the Director of APO you can be late if you want."

"No I can't." Jack said walking past her into the bathroom.

Leslie followed him. He was about to get in the shower, he was naked from the waist up.

"Excuse you." Jack shouted at her.

She just stood there a minute staring at his body. She could still see the sutures she had sewn the day before.

"I told you to eat breakfast. It's my turn to call the shots. After all I did follow yours."

"Not really, you broke Irina's main rule. You tried to seduce me."

"My husband and I always spend every moment talking before he goes to work, and we are going to do the same thing."

"I don't think so. There's nothing to talk about."

"Fine I'll sit here while you take your shower so we can talk." she said perching herself on the sink.

"Suit yourself." he answered pulling off his boxers and stepping into the shower.

"Oh my God have you no respect for women." she said flabbergasted.

"Well you're the one who decided to stay." he said a bit of laughter evident in his voice.

"So let's talk. What's the big deal about this promotion?" she asked.

"It's the greatest opportunity of a lifetime. Every since I joined the CIA it has been my dream to be Director of Langley. Kendall is the current director but now his position's up for grabs."

"Why?"

"Every three years Director Devlin considers two people for the job. The current director and two agents who are worthy candidates."

"Who's the other candidate."

"Some guy from the NSC," he said stepping out of the shower "Hey could you hand me that towel."

She handed him the towel. He wrapped it around his waist. He grabbed another towel and started drying his hair.

"So you think you have a shot." she asked.

"Yeah. I've been with the agency since I was sixteen. I've been tortured to protect my country. I've been imprisoned by my fellow agents when they thought I betrayed them. It's my legacy." he left the bathroom with her at his heels.

He went into the closet and began to dress. Leslie couldn't help but stare as he pulled on his boxers and pants. He pulled on an undershirt and put his collared shirt over it. As he started buttoning it she walked over and stopped his hands.

"Let me," she said "I do this for my husband all the time."

After a moments hesitation Jack let her button his shirt. He fixed his tie and put on his jacket all the while being watched by Leslie.

"I thought you were in a hurry." she said teasingly as she followed him into his bedroom.

"I am."

"It doesn't look like it."

"Well I'm already two hours late a couple more minutes can't do anymore harm."

"Well you can have breakfast then." she said leaving the room humming.

Jack stared after her in bewilderment. He went downstairs and the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, and fresh coffee assaulted his nostrils. He entered the kitchen and saw Leslie fixing a plate.

"Here you go." she sang sitting it on the counter. He sat at the counter and began to eat. She was a decent cook.

"How would you like your coffee."

"Black."

She poured him a cup and watched him. After he finished she took his plate and poured him some coffee in a thermos. She followed him to his car and hugged him goodbye.

Maybe this won't be so bad he thought. Then he remembered he didn't have his gun. He went back into the house and went into his weapons catch. He turned on the light and froze. All of his guns were gone. All of Irina's guns were gone as well. He ran to the kitchen.

"WERE ARE MY GUNS!" he shouted at her.

"I sold them."

"YOU DID WHAT!"

"I sold them to the pawn shop."

"SOME OF THOSE WERE COSTUM MADE! YOU SOLD MY WIFE'S GUNS! YOU SOLD MY GUNS! HOW AM I GOING TO DO MY JOB WITHOUT WEAPONS! YOU ARE DEAD! DIDN'T IRINA MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR NOT TO MESS WITH HER WEAPONS!" his face was red with fury.

"Well guess what Irina isn't here." she said standing up. Jack began to walk towards her.

"HOW DARE YOU." he said only inches away from her.

"Get used to it Bristow, there's a new sheriff in town."

Jack turned and walked back out the door. He stopped.

"What happened to your wrath. I thought I was dead." she called after him.

"Oh don't worry about me, Irina is who you have to worry about."

"And what is she going to do."

"Did you hear about the last person that crossed my wife."

"Who would that be?"

"Donavan Lanskey."

"Isn't he dead." she asked turning pale.

"Exactly." he said walking out the door.

Leslie collapsed on the floor. What had she done. Her mind drifted back to the news report she had heard on the Lanskey "accident". Donavan Lanskey was shot during a press conference by a sniper's bullet. A 20 mile radius was searched but no sniper or evidence of one had been found. Their was an inscription on the bullet that read: Keep your enemies closer.

What the authorities didn't know was the sniper was perched 40 miles away with a custom made sniper rifle. No scope was needed and the sniper only needed a single bullet. Before this sniper pulled the trigger she whispered to the wind.

"No one double-crosses me."


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it took so long. More action is soon to come.

Chapter 14: Rule Change Part 2

What was this strange feeling he had Preston wondered. He sat up in bed to see Irina standing at the foot in running shorts, a tank top, and sneakers.

"Rise and shine." she said snatching the covers off of him.

He rubbed his eyes groggily and looked at the clock. It was 6:30.

"Didn't you complain yesterday about getting up at 9." he asked.

"Yeah, but this is for my morning run, then I'm going back to sleep." she said a look of annoyance on her face.

"Well I don't run." he shot back.

Irina pulled out a gun and pointed it toward him.

"Well now you do. The rules have changed Preston, you do what I say. Now get up and get dressed."

"And if I don't."

Irina cocked the gun.

"Ok. Give me a sec." he said jumping out of bed. He threw on a long forgotten pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt. He grudgingly stomped out of his bedroom.

"Shh. You'll wake the kids." Irina said slipping on a baseball cap. It was Jack's Dodger's cap.

Irina walked out the door with Preston on her heels.

"Will they be safe." he asked trying to stall.

"They'll be fine I took a necessary precautions. Besides we are just going around the block it will take 5 minutes max." she said starting off.

Preston jogged behind her. He hadn't actually exercised in quite a while. He began to feel out of breath and stopped.

"Irina," he panted "I need a breather."

"We've gone down two houses from yours, come on." she said pulling him to his feet.

"I'm not as young as your husband ok." he said pulling away from her.

"Actually you're much younger than my husband." she said smiling.

"Wait what?"

"My husband is 56."

"But there has to be an enormous age difference between you two."

"Not that much. Just two years."

"You're 54."

"Yes, why do you seem so surprised."

"You look so young."

Irina laughed.

"Good job stalling, but lets go." she said starting to jog at a slower pace this time.

Preston followed her his breath labored.

"So you and your husband jog in the morning."

"Yes, 6 miles every morning."

"How long does it usually take."

"About 30 or 45 minutes."

"Wow! You guys are really fit then huh.""Yeah you could say that."

"Well I'm not and I'm not going to be able to run a block."

"Guess what Preston," Irina said stopping to look at him "You just did."

Preston turned and sure enough he was in front of his home.

"Now what." he said dragging himself through the door."I don't care, take a shower, go back to bed whatever, you're going to need to be wide awake. After all we are going to the gun range today." Irina said springing up the steps.

She left a horror stricken Preston downstairs and went upstairs to take a shower. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a shirt and went back to sleep. Two hours later she awoke and went downstairs. When Kayle and Kevin came downstairs she was smiling from ear to ear. There were two big cardboard boxes on the table.

"What's that?" Kevin asked eagerly.

"Yeah, what's in the box." Kayle said, she was looking forward to the rule change.

Irina pulled out her switchblade and opened the box pulling out four high impact vests, four helmets, gloves, shin guards, and finally four brand new custom designed paintball guns with ammunition.

"Yes!" Kevin yelled grabbing for the gun.

"Woe there tiger," Irina teased "I got to show you how to use that first."

"This is so cool, my mom would never let us do this." Kayle said her eyes bright with anticipation.

Irina pulled out three small paintball grenades handing one to Kayle and Kevin.

"Now a quick lesson. These are grenades, just pull the pin then throw. You have roughly five seconds before it explodes."

At that moment a groggy looking Preston entered the kitchen. He froze when he saw the weapons on the table.

"Good morning dad." the kids said in unison.

Preston fell to the ground when something his him across his temple."What the …." his words were cut off when he took in a mouthful of paint.

"As you can see they explode quicker when they make direct contact with your target." Irina said a devilish twinkle in her eye.

Preston stood up wiping paint from his face.

"What the h*ll was that?!" he shouted.

Kayle and Kevin froze they had never heard their dad yell let alone cuss.

"What this?" Irina said throwing another one. This time he caught it raising it above his head in triumph, then it exploded.

Kevin and Kayle erupted with laughter. Preston was dripping from head to toe in paint.

An hour later Irina met the family in the yard. There was a tarp covering something on the lawn. When the whole family was assembled Irina uncovered it. There in the yard stood a sleek black Hummer.

"Oh my God, I've always wanted one of these." Kayle shrieked.

"Well that a good thing, because it's yours." Irina said throwing her the keys.

She had already loaded the trunk, so they climbed in with Kayle at the wheel.

Preston looked at the smile on his daughters face. He had never seen her so happy.

"Hey, Preston don't wear yourself out at the range we're going out later." Irina said over her shoulder.

Preston froze, he didn't know how to dance.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Irina's message and a father's threat

Jack was sitting at his desk going through his emails. He found the video Irina had sent him and opened it. Irina came on screen wearing a black negligee. It amazed him how she could be so sexy.

"Hi sweetheart. Just sending you a return video. Your song was really beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes as you can probably see," she said wiping her eyes "Um I don't have an instrument but I do have my outstanding dance moves. She turned the camera and rose from the bed. She turned on the Ipod and started dancing.

_You've been waiting so long for me to answer your call_

_I know that I should I had you waitin that long _

_I've been so busy but I been thinking bout what I wanna do to you._

As the song played Irina showed off her belly dancing skills she acquired in India, and gyrated with the music all the while never losing contact with the camera.

"Hope you enjoyed my performance," she said once the song ended "I'm still going to make Preston's life a living h*ll tomorrow. I'm taking him to a paintball range, and to a nightclub. Oh let me show you the dress I'm wearing." she turned the camera to face the far wall. From the dress bag hanging there she pulled out a strapless knee length dress. It was red Irina's favorite color. She ducked into the bathroom and reentered a minute later wearing the dress.

Jack stood in awe of his wife. She was stunning. The things she did to clothes should be against the law. He stared tantalizing at the split that ran up her left thigh revealing part of the skin underneath.

"I know you like it." she said smiling. Oh she knew him so well.

"Well I got to go. I love you Jack." she blew him a kiss and turned off the camera.

Jack sat back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He really missed Irina, her smile, her never ending love, and her badass side too. He saved the video to his Ipod and was closing the file when there was a knock on his office door.

"Come in." he said slightly frustrated, it was probably Marshall again.

"Hi Honey!" Leslie shrieked as she entered his office.

Jack sighed he wished it was Marshall. Leslie began placing boxes of food on his desk.

"What is this?" he asked, the smell of the food was making his stomach growl.

"I brought you lunch," she replied handing him a container and chopsticks "I got your favorite Peking Duck and fried rice."

"Thanks." he said opening the container. He had to admit he was kind of hungry.

"Oh yeah this guy came by and told me to give you this." she said sitting in the chair and handing him the white envelope.

It was addressed to Mr. Jack Bristow. There was no return address. He opened it continuing to eat. Upon reading it he dropped his chopsticks, crumpled up the letter and walked out the door of his office. Leslie picked up the letter and read it. It said.

Dear Jack,

Your wife was recently offered the position as the Director of the new Black Ops division of SVR. If she accepts she will have to work out of our Moscow office. This is a exceptional opportunity for her to showcase her skills as an agent. She has expressed her desire for the job but she has also expressed some hesitation. I believe this hesitation is because of you. I ask you let her take the position, or measures will be taken.

Sincerely,

General Servejo Derevko

Leslie went in search of Jack and found him at the gun range, firing off round after round at a mutilated target. He removed the empty clip replaced it and kept firing.

"Jack." Leslie called. He didn't answer.

"Jack." she said placing her hand on his back. He stopped firing and put down the gun. He turned around a mixture of agony and anger evident in his eyes.

"How could she? How could she consider that job? Then she didn't tell me I had to learn about it from her father, then he threatened me. She's been complaining for months about my promotion, ha, now it's my turn to return the favor. This experiment is over. F* Wife Swap. I'm going to find her and settle this now."

From a corner of the room the Vincent Smith popped out.

"Mr. Bristow, I can't let you do that." he said, grabbing Jack's arm.

"Who's going to stop me." Jack answered shrugging him off.

"Howard!" Vincent called. A large 6'3 man stepped in front of Jack crossing his arms.

Jack dealt the man a quick left hook, and stepped over him when he crumpled to the ground. He walked out of the range with Leslie at his heels.

"Keep rolling this is priceless." Vincent said following Jack.

Two hours later Jack sat on a plane his eyes shut but still wearing a scowl.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he mumbled staring out the window as the lights of LA faded away.

song is Me& you by Cassie


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: It all comes to the light

"Ahh! I've been hit." Irina screamed when Kevin pelted her with the paintballs.

Kayle came from behind the barrel behind her and fired two shots at Kevin's chest.

Kevin burst into a fit of laughter allowing Irina to shot him as well. A large gun battle ensued. The three collapsed to the ground laughter wracking their bodies.

"Gotcha." Preston screamed, running towards the group firing shots. He tripped and rolled down the hill. He fell across Irina's lap. He rolled away quickly and joined in the laughter.

"Hey Preston." Irina said.

Preston looked up and Irina shot him dead in the center of his mask. Kevin and Kayle burst into another fit of laughter at their dad's misfortune.

Preston ripped off his helmet so he could see. Irina had took of hers earlier. He stared at this woman who had brought happiness and uniqueness to his home and smiled. She wasn't so bad. He was intrigued by her, her playful side as well as the dangerous one.

They hiked back down to the station to eat lunch. Irina told them stories from some of her missions leaving out the R rated parts. Kayle and Kevin listened with wide-eyed fascination. Preston was impressed this woman was a force to be reckoned with. When Kayle and Kevin ran off to do some sight seeing Preston seized the opportunity to talk to Irina alone.

"So Irina, you're an APO agent right."

"Yeah."

"Have you always wanted to be an agent?"

"No, when I was young," she chuckled tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "you're going to think this is silly but I wanted to be a ballerina, but my dad changed all of that."

"How?"

"He started training me when I was three. He taught me precision aim, ruthlessness, and pushed me to my physical limits. Then he taught me the one skill all agents must possess to survive."

"What's that?"

"The ability to hate."

"How did he do that?"

"He left, him and my mom just packed up and left. I was twelve and I came home from school to hear my three year old sister bawling her eyes out. There was a note that said he had did all he wanted and now it was up to me to survive and provide for Katya."

"So how did you support yourself."

"I sold myself. I would take pictures of myself and sell them to the numerous perverts roaming the street. Or I would strip for money at times."

"You were only twelve."

"So, age was nothing but a number when I was growing up. Besides I did what I had to do to survive. I kept attending school. Got Katya into school as well. I was at the top of my class, and I got a part time job waiting tables, but it didn't bring in the money I needed."

"So how did you become an agent?"

"Once I finished high school, I was approached and offered a job were I could use my unique skills and make more money beyond my wildest dreams. I of course accepted, for a woman to be asked to join Russia's greatest organization was my ticket out. My chance to see the world, my chance to be free."

"Do you ever regret that decision?"

"No. If I had never joined the KGB I never would have met my husband, I wouldn't have two wonderful daughters, I wouldn't be happy, actually I probably wouldn't be alive."

Preston just sat in stunned silence, there was so much more to Irina than he had thought. She did have feelings, she just kept them locked away. As he looked at her he realized he wanted her. He wanted her badly. As he stared he noticed she kept rubbing her neck.

"Is your neck ok."

"What? Oh yeah, just a little stiff."

"Let me help." he said rising to stand behind her. He began massaging her neck and shoulders, he felt the tension leaving her muscles, she gasped when he worked a particularly knotted place. Irina couldn't help it any longer she moaned as he continued his ministrations. He leaned down and kissed the place where her neck and shoulder met. She turned on him violently knocking him onto the ground.

"WHAT THE H*LL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" she yelled.

"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me." he stammered.

"I'm married, and so are you. We can't do this."

"I know, it's just your everything my wife isn't, your mysterious, intriguing, potentially deadly, I can't stay away from you."

"Well try harder. You couldn't handle me anyway."

Preston stood looking into her eyes, was that a challenge. He stepped closer to her and put his arm around her waist. Irina just cocked her head to the side and smiled. She ran her hand through his hair and brought their lips inches apart. This was a game she and Jack played all the time. Who would surrender to their wants first? She never lost this game. She let her lips hover close to his and felt as his breath began to quicken. When he tried to close the distance she pulled away and walked away toward the lookout point. He watched in confusion and admiration as she walked, he sat down. He was feeling light headed and horny. Irina was truly amazing. He vowed to himself he had to have her.


	17. Chapter 17

I am terribly sorry for the ridiculously long wait. I have been experiencing computer trouble but that is fixed now, so enjoy!

Chapter 17: Meet me in the club its going down

As soon as Irina walked into the club there was a pause in the din. Many of heads turned to see the mismatched couple entering the club. A six foot bombshell dressed in a slinky red dress. The man at her side was wearing a white button up shirt and jeans. He looked frightened and she looked like she was used to this scene.

Irina guided Preston over to the bar.

"You know what will happen if anyone recognizes me."

"Don't worry, I've got you covered. What do you want to drink?"

"I don't know."

"Two apple martinis." Irina said to the bartender.

He sat the drinks on the bar and as Irina reached to pay a man further down on the bar paid instead. She flashed him a smile, and handed Preston a drink. Preston took a sip and sputtered.

"What is that?" he said spitting.

"Oh come on." Irina said rolling her eyes.

She ordered an iced vodka which the kind gentleman paid for once again. She sat for a minute sipping her drink, returning the looks from the guys passing by. When Lollipop began to play she dragged Preston on the dance floor. She started gyrating and grinding and encouraging him to join. Preston tried swaying his hips to no prevail. Irina kept dancing, a man walked up behind and pulled her tightly to his body. Irina tensed, Preston was looking at her with a look of complete fear. She tried to free herself from the man's grasp but she couldn't. He brushed her hair away from her neck and started sucking on the pulse point in the crook of her neck. Irina cringed, then she smelled it. The man's aftershave, his musky odor that was unique to only one man she knew. She relaxed and began to enjoy his advances. When he bit the place softly she moaned.

"Jack, you might want to stop. I can't be responsible for my actions much longer."

He turned her around, and kissed her fiercely. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Their tongues engaging in a duel. They separated and she looked into his eyes. There was happiness there of course but something darker was also there. Was it anger, betrayal?

"Darling!" Leslie shouted pushing through the crowd to throw her arms around Preston.

"Sweetie." he said pulling her closer.

"Can we go somewhere and talk." Jack yelled to their little group.

"Yeah. Follow me." Irina said leading Jack and the others into a private room in the VIP lounge.

Irina fixed Jack a scotch, and a cranberry juice for the Maynors. She sat next to Jack on the loveseat.

Jack took a sip of his drink.

"So Irina. How has it been going." he said.

"Fine. Jack what's wrong?" she asked taking his hand.

"Irina I got a letter the other day."

"About?"

"Your job offer in Moscow."

Irina let go of his hand and stood up. She nervously brushed a stray hair behind her ear.

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me you were offered a position at SVR?"

"Jack you were so excited about your promotion and I can't ask you to move to Moscow with me. It wouldn't be fair."

"How is it fair to ask you to move to D.C when your dream job awaits you in Moscow."

"Jack I already made my choice. I turned down the job."

"Do you want this job?"

"What?"

"Do you want the job?" Jack said walking up behind her embracing her from behind.

"Yes." Irina said relaxing against him."Then it's settled. We're moving to Moscow."

Irina turned her head to look at him.

"What? What about your promotion?""Well the director of Langley can choose where he operates from and what better place than Moscow where he can be close to," he said running his hands down her waist "and I mean very close to some of their governments top officials."

"Jack thank you! Wait a minute, the director." she said turning in his embrace. She looked up at him and saw the laughter playing in his eyes "Oh my God congratulations." she said hugging him. She kissed him and smiled.

"I love you." she said.

"I love you too." he said kissing her lightly.

"Ahem, excuse me we are still in the room." Leslie said.

Irina turned to face Leslie. Jack once again wrapped his arms around her. Irina threw Leslie an evil look then smiled.

"You must be Leslie."

"Yes nice to meet you Irina." Leslie answered hesitantly.

"So did you have fun on the mission."

"Yeah it was amazing their was fights with weapons and everything."

"Oh no. You didn't get hurt did you."

"No but Jack got a little cut."

Irina turned her head to look at her husband.

"It's nothing sweetheart. It wasn't that bad really." Jack said kissing her forehead.

Irina nodded.

"So, I trust you followed my rules."

Leslie froze.

"Well, no. I sold your guns."

Jack had to exert all his strength in order to hold Irina back.

"Johnathan Bristow it would be in your best interest to let me go." she said through clenched teeth.

"It's ok I got them back." he whispered.

"All of them."

"Yes the guy at the shop she sold them to is an old buddy of mine. I got them back and put them in our storage unit."

Irina relaxed and Jack eased his grip.

"Sweetheart other than that she followed your rules."

"Good."

"No Jack. I can't lie to her. I broke your other rule. I threw myself at Jack." Leslie said, if it was one thing she had learned from Jack it was to be brave.

Two things happened at once. Jack lost his grip on Irina and Irina launched herself at Leslie. She landed at left hook that sent Leslie sprawling. She picked her up by the throat pulling a switchblade from the garter on her thigh. She flicked it open.

"You little whore." she hissed.

"Please, I'm sorry, it was a mistake, I never should have flirted with him. He didn't kiss me or anything. He pushed me away. Please don't kill me." Leslie stammered tears falling down her face. Jack grabbed Irina's hand.

Irina looked at her in disgust and pushed her towards her husband.

"You're pathetic."

Leslie turned to Preston.

"Do you forgive me?" she asked him.

"Of course. I was tempted too sweetheart. I tried to seduce Irina." he said laughing.

Leslie slapped him hard across his face. When he recovered Jack Bristow was standing in front of him a look of pure hatred on his face.

"You did what!" he said.

"I'm sorry Mr. Bris"

Jack hit him with a quick left right combo and sent another right that knocked Preston unconscious. Leslie crouched down next to Preston trying to awaken him.

Irina came up behind Jack and whispered.

"You have no idea how hot I am for you right now."

Jack turned and began ravishing her mouth with his. She pushed him away reluctantly and spoke to those remaining in the room.

"Could we have some privacy?"

The cameraman managed to place an undetected camera in the room as they left. Once the Bristows were alone they started kissing fiercely. The cameramen watched flabbergasted as they moved in sync with each other. Each taking as much as they gave. When Irina reached her climax and called out Jack's name, Jack following a few seconds later Victor tapped his cameraman on the shoulder.

"We can't air that on TV, but damn for an old guy he has stamina."

(an hour had passed)

The Bristows left the club a few minutes later and spoke to a sobbing Leslie.

"You a**. You and your damn whore just leave me alone."

"Where's Preston?" Irina asked trying to sound concerned.

"He is in the hospital. You gave him a concussion."

"He shouldn't have seduced my wife."

"I seduced you and I'm not in a coma."

"That's because I stopped her."

Irina wrapped her arms around Jack's waist as he brought his lips down to hers again.

"Bye Leslie," Irina said as she guided Jack towards her car "You haven't seen the last of me."

Leslie cringed, what had she done.


	18. Chapter 18

**Epilogue**

Leslie runs across the parking lot to her car. She had been feeling like someone was following her since that night in the club. She looked toward her car, what was that silhouette? She froze, Irina Bristow was perched on the hood of her car.

"Hey Leslie." she said her voice cold. She slid off the car and Leslie could see the glint of the moonlight across Irina's gun in her waistband.

"Irina."

"You always go to the supermarket at night."

"No, I needed some milk." Leslie said her voice trembling.

"You should have got your husband to go with you. You never know who could be lurking at night."

"Yeah." Leslie answered taking a hesitant step towards her car. She walked over and opened the driver door. She was about to get in when Irina slammed it shut and threw her against the car.

"Irina please." Leslie shrieked.

"No, you should have thought about that when you seduced my husband. You should have thought about that when you went to sell my guns. You messed with the wrong woman and now its time to pay." Irina pulled a knife from her waist and made a long cut across Leslie's face. She punched her sending her crashing to the ground. No one heard and no one saw.

_Two days later Los Angeles_

Irina lazily stretched. Jack pulled her closer to him and kissed her head. She moved to sit in his lap as Jack wrapped his arms around her. He turned on the TV.

"**In other news, politician Preston Maynor is currently devastated by the attack on his wife Leslie two days ago. Leslie was found severely beaten, in the parking lot of the ER. She is said to have sustained multiple lacerations and a broken arm. Police say the original attack took place in the parking lot of a local supermarket. There were no witnesses to this attack and Leslie claims to have been unable to see the attacker. She is recovering slowly, and will be released from the hospital soon."**

"Irina," Jack said "do you know anything about that."

"What? Of course not."

"Irina. Where were you two days ago?"

"I went to see Katya, remember."

"Could I call Katya and verify that."

"Um, no she left for a convention or something after I left."

"Irina. Tell me the truth."

"Ok. I couldn't just let her get away with it. She seduced you. You got to put her husband in a coma. I didn't get even. But now I have so let's move on."

"Irina did you have to put her in the hospital."

"Ok, I admit I got carried away. But all I could think about was her in our bed with you. And I just . . ."

Jack cut her off mid-sentence.

"I love you Irina, and only you. I would never cheat on you. I made that mistake once, I won't make it again."

Irina smiled.

"I believe you." she kissed him back fiercely.

"Jack. I love you too."

Jack kissed her passionately. They fell back onto the bed a tangle of limbs. Once again together and in love.

As Irina lay in Jack's arms she couldn't help but think of what she learned from this experience. She needed show Jack she loved him more often. Jack realized Leslie was right. He needed to show his romantic side more. What did Leslie and Preston learn? They learned never to mess with Bristows.

**FIN**


End file.
